Genesis 35-36; Matthew 12:1-21; Psalms 15: 1-5; Proverbs 3:21-26

“Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.” (Proverbs 3:25-26 NIV)

I’m going to be incredibly honest for a minute, this one felt like a punch in the gut when I first read it. From the time I had my son in August of 2022, I have dealt with ongoing intrusive thoughts and postpartum anxiety, thankfully getting better with time and prayer. The hardest moments of anxiety to get through have been imagining something suddenly happening to me or my son. I’ve thought through scenarios of what I would do if there was a fire in his room (after insuring that the smoke alarm works and all electric cords are being safely used), if I were to suddenly die and he was left all alone (I mentioned this in another blog post), and if something were to happen in our day to day moments (choking, falling, car accident, serious illness, etc). While on one hand you could make the argument that working through that kind of stuff ahead of time would be beneficial in the moment for a response, it is absolutely not beneficial to imagine a scenario where the adorable, kind, loving, spunky person in front of you is no longer. For a time, the thought would make me cry as if I had lost him, and it would take a lot of prayer and deep breaths to bring me back to reality. It was not healthy, and it was contributing to a lifestyle of fear that I was spiraling deeper and deeper into.

Now, I’ve known this is a problem in my life and I’ve been working through it both in spiritual direction and through prayer, but it hits home when you are two weeks into faithfully reading and writing about Scripture everyday and the Lord highlights these verses.

“The Lord will be at your side.” This isn’t a promise that sudden disaster won’t happen, which honestly sparks that ugly fear monster inside my head. I want to be promised that my child and my family will be safe and secure because I am relying on the Lord to take care of us. Instead, we are given the promise that in sudden disaster, the Lord will be with us, and will be with us as we move on from the event. We will not be “snared,” but we will be able to continue forward with Him by our side.

I think this means two things: that the Lord will be with us supporting and protecting us when bad things happen, but that also the Lord will give us grace to move through the situation into acceptance and healing. It’s a promise: we know that through our entire lives we will deal with hardship and pain–it’s an unfortunate byproduct of a sinful world. None of us can know what the next day of our life will bring, but we are promised that the Lord is there with us. And if he is with us, is He not protecting us and softening the blow in whatever way He can for His children? If we lean on the Lord, we are allowing him to support us through the minefield of traps that threaten to ensnare us. With God, we cannot be snared–He is our provider and sustained. If we fully rely on him, then the schemes of the enemy to catch and destroy us cannot succeed.

Is there any guarantee that I won’t lose my child? No. I’ve lost three beautiful souls before I was able to bring them earthside. Can I trust that the Lord cares more for him than I do? Yes! He created him and allowed him to make it safely here to me. He knows the plan He has for my child, and He also knows my heart for motherhood and the true gift He’s given me. But the harder I clench to the what-ifs and fears, the less I’m holding onto Him for His support and guidance. I cannot control my next hour, which scares me as a person who needs a plan. But I can control who I release my need to control to, and that is a beautiful gift.

I wonder if you would consider listening to the Lord on the following:

Father God, what am I most fearful of in my life right now?

Father God, how do I release this fear to you?

Father God, is it safe to trust you with this thing?

I would encourage you to pray those prayers and see what the Lord is laying on your heart. What emotions do you feel when you ask these questions of God? What response do you feel from Him deep in your soul? If I can take a guess, I would imagine He wants to comfort and encourage you through these fears. The first step to letting go is meeting with the God of the universe to talk through your fears. He will meet you in that moment, He understands your fear, and before you were even a thought here on earth, He had already planned how he would be by your side each and every day of your life. If you turn to faith and love over fear, then the sudden disasters of life won’t seem so daunting. The Lord is with you; the Lord is upholding you.