Genesis 24:52-67, 25-26:1-16; Matthew 8: 18-34; Psalms 10:1-15; Proverbs 3:7-8

“Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!’ He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.” (Matthew 8:24-26 NIV)

Considering we’re less than two weeks into our plan and I’ve already written about sleep in a few separate posts, it’s no surprise that this was the section I wanted to highlight tonight. The Lord is really speaking to me about rest and highlighting it more and more as a spiritual discipline that I need to embrace in my own life.

I find it easy to imagine how the disciples felt in this situation, because to be honest, I have felt completely the same. All around, the wind and waves of life are beating against the side of your boat. When you look out, all you see is dark water and sky; the storm rages around you, the boat is seemingly breaking down, and when you reach out to Jesus for help…he’s asleep! You shake him yelling, “Jesus, Jesus, wake up! This boat is breaking apart and we’re going to drown!”

My first year of postpartum made me completely feel like I was on a sinking ship. I dealt with postpartum anxiety, maybe even depression (although I did not receive a diagnosis), and intense mood swings and hormonal changes. I cannot tell you how often I cried or the many things that set me off throughout the year, but it felt like I was on a boat, being tossed by the wind and waves, I had no control over the situation, and I was absolutely going down.

I wasn’t feeling the presence of God in my life, but I knew that was a me thing, and not a Him thing. I continued with my Spiritual Direction meetings, continued praying every chance I could (even if it was just to express fear and anger), and continued striving for the feelings or normalcy and closeness with the Lord to return. I felt like Jesus was in the boat, but he wasn’t concerned–he was sleeping.

On the flip side, when the storm was sending the rest of the boat into chaos, Jesus was sleeping. Sleeping! He wasn’t concerned about the storm because he knew that they did not have to fear it. He knew the promise that was in store with His life, and He knew that under the protection of His Heavenly Father, he had nothing to fear. Rather than be bothered by the storm, He rested in the promise that He would come out the other side.

When the storms of life are rocking our boat, are we a Jesus, or are we a disciple? When we strive to be like Jesus, we know that the storms of life cannot destroy us–we are children of God and he has promised to love and care for us. What a promise to know that no matter what is happening around us, we can rest in our Heavenly Father! Does that mean it’s easy? No! Are we called to do it anyway? Absolutely!

I wish I had held onto this promise when dealing with the emotional storms of my postpartum period, but the truth is that even though I was letting the waves beat me up significantly, I still got through it. I still came out the other side: a better mother, who is working on not letting the fears and anxieties of the world dictate how she parents. Do I feel the Lord’s presence with me 100% of the time now? Nope! Sometimes I still feel distant during the hard stuff. But the promise is that He is there, He is in control of the storms of life, and HE is the reason we can sleep safely. Literally and figuratively.

Tonight, instead of letting the worries and fears of whatever you are currently going through keep you from a good nights sleep, remember how Jesus slept. Rest in the knowledge that our Lord is with you, He hears you, and He will command the winds and waves to calm. In the meantime, you can sleep soundly knowing He in in control.