You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”

2 Corinthians 9:7 NLT

When my baby boy was born in August of 2022, I metaphorically hit a wall in terms of my spiritual life. I was exhausted–I had no time to eat, let alone pick up a Bible to read, and while I was praying just as frequently as ever, the rhythms that I had crafted pre-baby no longer worked for my life. I went a few months in this period of limbo before eventually meeting with my Spiritual Director again and discussing it with her.

But it still wasn’t until my baby was a year old (and he was starting to sleep through the night!) that I began to turn my focus to what I wanted my spiritual practices to look like again. I had to be honest with myself–I was and am an entirely different person than I was pre-motherhood, and my focus had turned to the beautiful baby that I had longingly prayed for and been gifted. And it meant that my relationship with God would look a little different these days. So I prayed, and I spoke with my Spiritual Director, and I felt the Lord leading me into what HE wanted for our Spiritual time together.

The problem was that during this “down-time” in my spiritual life, I felt immense guilt that I didn’t have the time to dedicate to spiritual things. How could I journal or pray or take time for spiritual practices when I didn’t have a moment to myself? How could I say more than a “please help me” prayer when my baby was awake for the 4th time that night? I felt pressured to be everything I once was–the wife, employee, and spiritual being that I once dedicated my time to. But that pressure was an internal burden placed on me by the cultural stigma that I need to “perform” and “prove my worth.” I had to embrace the truth that the Lord was trying to show me–I “prove myself” every day by focusing on the things that actually truly matter in this season of life.

When I read 2 Corinthians 9:7, a verse I had heard normally used in the context of financial giving, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Right now, there is only so much I can give to the spiritual work I was doing before. I am still giving what I can to God, but in this season of new motherhood, it looks different. And He is accepting that and blessing that. I believe with my whole heart that focusing on this great gift He has bestowed upon me, my child, is an act of worship. The pressure I feel to participate in the way I once did is not a pressure I need to let fester, but one I need to turn over to the Lord and allow him to speak into through the leading of the Holy Spirit. Right now I won’t be able to journal or read a chapter everyday. Right now, I physically can’t handle working a full time job and going to church every weekend. But I CAN open up my Bible app and read the verse of the day and meditate on what it means for me; I CAN be open to the Spirit through prayer and decide that I will pray during nursing sessions, or when I am driving to work in the morning; I CAN attend church with my husband and baby as I have the strength, and listen to a livestreamed service when I don’t. And I CAN say “yes” when my cup is full and “no” when I’m drained.

If you resonate with this, read 2 Corinthians 9 and ask God what you can give of yourself in this season–financially, spiritually, mentally. He will show you what is acceptable and appropriate in his eyes. You are free to let go of the pressures you, your upbringing, or your spiritual teaching has placed on you and simply focus on what He is asking in this moment. Then give of that cheerfully and generously each and every day.

Thanks be to God for His good gifts to us.