I think it’s appropriate to start off a blog based on prayer and my personal prayer life on National Day of Prayer 2019.
I wish I could say I planned it that way–that I had that much forethought and creativity–but it’s funny how to Lord works out timing. I did not plan this, nor did I have any plans for writing less than a few weeks ago.
I’ve had blogs and writing gigs on and off since 2015. My bachelors is in creative writing, and through the years I’ve had grandiose plans of writing for magazines and publishing short stories in journals. I would map out ideas on content and research websites to submit stories for contests and publication deadlines, but nothing has ever fully panned out. From 2016-2018 I wrote a monthly column for a magazine called The Young Salvationist (Now renamed, Peer). Out of college, I even worked for a small publishing company that wanted me to begin working on a book. But there is no book, there is no more magazine, and as time went on, I simply stopped looking for opportunities.
Meanwhile, in February 2015 I attended a prayer ministry session that opened the door to a new way of thinking about my relationship with the Lord and with prayer. For the first time ever, it dawned on me that God is more than a distant “being in the sky” and I was taught about listening prayer and connecting with Him. Before that time, prayer had felt like a list of “things” I needed, or was often used as my last line of defense when everything felt like it was getting worse instead of better. That session challenged my idea that prayer was simply expressing myself to God, and opened me up to the practice of listening to Him.
In February 2016, I had my second prayer ministry session, where I was released from lies I had believed about myself and held onto for years–that I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t smart enough, and didn’t belong in my job or community. For the first time, I saw the intimate and close relationship with the Lord that’s possible when we see Him and our lives from a different perspective. Those sessions turned into more sessions, and then an invitation to be trained in and join the ConnectUp prayer ministry team in August of 2017. I’m now only a few months shy of my two-year anniversary–and I’m fully mentored in leading prayer ministry inner healing sessions, teaching others how to listen to the Lords voice, and, by His leading, establishing veins of connection between Him and His children.
I am fortunate enough that I’ve been lead by God into this passion for prayer in life. Maybe that sounds corny, but I can’t get enough of prayer ministry. I can’t get enough of the feeling of being truly and utterly connected with our Creator; of watching people feel that connection for the first time–the overwhelming love that is waiting for us–even after years of devotion to Him. We don’t understand the vastness of what the Lord hold for us–I know that I still don’t have any idea of the true depth of love that the Lord desires to pour on us–His created children.
A few weeks ago was Easter Sunday and as my pastor was preaching, she was talking about the words of the angel to the disciples: “Jesus is not here, he’s gone on ahead of you.” That Sunday I was spending time praying through my connection with the Lord after a few months of disappointments. As I was praying and handing circumstances over to Him, that phrase hit me. He’s not here! He’s gone on ahead!
Yes, Jesus is here for me in my pain, but he’s not a part of this pain. He’s a part of the hope and a future that is still in store. It was in that moment–at the altar and then in my alone time with him– that I started getting dreams of where ahead is.
He’s waiting for me here. ❤
I believe that the Lord has given me a gifting as a writer–I don’t say that proudly because a part of me wants to write the “but” statement as soon as I type those words. I believe that he also made me a prayer warrior and given me giftings in teaching and prophecy. I believe that many people have these giftings, but we don’t learn/grow/expect them for ourselves, so they never develop.
I am not an expert–at anything–but I believe the Lord has given me a specific voice in my calling to prayer. I want to share that with you, so that you might not listen to what I have to say, but directly to what the Lord wants to tell you.
So, for my new beginning, my National Day of Prayer, I commit to you that I will pray for you. I will share with you what I learn on this journey, and I will honor you as my sister or brother in Christ.